Happy President’s Day! Today.. I just thought about opening up.. I bet you are asking why would someone want to air all of their challenges in life to the world? Because I do. Truly. Because I want to be as transparent as possible for you. Because we all have challenges we deal with. Because we can work together to get through them. If you told me last year at this time I would be blogging consistently and having the best time doing it, I would have told you that you were nuts. But hey, here I am. I created this space for us. For us to be able to share life.. while adding a little sparkle as we go.
ATTENTION: LONG POST AHEAD!
First, I want to say thank you. For your support, your following, for you being you. If it wasn’t for you, I would not be able to do what I enjoy doing, so thank you. PS.. please don’t be afraid to comment your thoughts, feelings, anything you wish! I love hearing from you. Truly, from the bottom of my warm heart.. I love it. It is my favorite part of all of this.
About a month ago, I gave an update on our moving process.. click here to read that post.. Fast forward to today and pretty much our whole house is packed and moved as we prepare for our last week here. Craziness. I still cannot believe it, well I can, but it is so surreal. I am just over boxes and packing tape that does not rip when I want it too. I am not the best with change, but I feel a sense of calm now. I know this is His plan for us now.
We are moving into a “halfway” house until our new home is completed. May needs to come kind of quickly. My entire closet is in boxes – thankfully organized boxes. I try to pull outfits for about two weeks at a time, but most days I resort to yogas and a t-shirt because I am #overmoving. After this move if I never have to see a cardboard box again, I will be perfectly fine.
With moving, I have been trying really really hard to give things away as I pack. Normally, I end up just keeping it and telling myself, “well, maybe I will need it and then I can just give it away at the new house if I don’t.” Fail. I have no need for it anymore. But it is so hard for me to give things away. The things I have trouble giving away are things that bring memories up for me. If someone got it for me or I remember wearing X dress to a special event… I know I do not need it any longer and that someone else would probably get great use out of it or I could sell it. But I just cannot seem to put it in the giveaway pile, it makes me feel sad to give things away. & yes, I have googled how to cope with giving things away.
Here is what I found, I am not alone. Which honestly, is seriously a relief. I could not find the original article, but they discussed about how the item does not hold the memory, you hold the memory. Just because the item is being removed from the box you kept under your bed.. the memory will still be in your mind. When going through things you need to give away, you need to repeat to yourself “The item doesn’t hold the memory, I do.” Honestly, it really helped! I was shocked. Okay, so by now.. you are probably thinking, wow this chick is weird or oh my gosh, I deal with the same thing.. Either way, I am telling you people.. this is a real struggle for me. I found another article that talks about dealing with sentimental clutter, and it was on point. Click here to read! This article was actually pretty funny to me because whenever I give something away, I take a picture of it. Should I be taking a picture of every.single.item.. no that probably does not help my case.. but things that do hold a sentimental feeling, I can make a book and keep the memories together. Something to definitely consider.
With this move, I feel like all of my little tendencies are coming out and I am making myself face them.
Not being able to let go. I have always had a hard time of letting go of things, friendships, bad experiences, etc.. I can say I am getting better. This might sound mean.. I have been trying to “declutter” my life of people that clutter it. I make more time for me and things that I enjoy aka our little space we have here together. I fill my time with purpose, with people that appreciate me for all of me. I am challenging myself more to do things I normally would not do. To enjoy life a little more each day.
But.. when I am faced with a “letting something go” challenge, I feel as I always break down. It drives me nuts. I don’t know why I do it! I know I need to be the one who stays in control.
Am I always in control? Ha, no way. Sometimes I feel overly angry about something so little, so I know I just need to take a breath and be left alone for a couple of minutes. Sometimes I feel scared.. the unknown of not knowing. Is having an unordinary job good enough? Will I be able to do everything I want to accomplish? Will I become successful enough? Will I be good enough for myself, my family, my boyfriend, my friends, my nephews? Will I be able to experience all of these things before meeting my Lord? It is scary. But over the past year, I have learned, I am enough. I know my Lord is setting my journey. I have full trust in Him. When I think I am going to move on from something, He just throws me right back in the ring. He keeps me fighting.
Is life scary? Hell Yes. But it is so amazing. Friends, I will say this everyday.. travel. You need to travel. There is so much more life has to offer than our little world. Traveling is in my blood. Do I feel like I get criticized/judged for traveling so much? Yes. Every time I tell someone about our new exciting trip… “Oh, how can you afford that?” “Don’t you have other things you need to pay for?” “Didn’t you just go somewhere?” Answer: You cannot put a price on life. Adventure. Experiences. Once you go, you won’t ever want to stop. Adventure could be exploring your own city or driving for an hour and seeing what you find. Yes, I do think everyone needs to experience other countries, but I bet you haven’t even scratched the surface of your own town. I know I haven’t.
Okay, last part.. promise.
We are doing life together. So, let’s support each other. Starting this space has brought me so many wonderful friends, and I am grateful for them everyday. I feel true support from them, and guess what? They have the same passions and goals as me. And WE STILL SUPPORT EACH OTHER! Crazy right?! Kindness.. it goes a long way. I am challenging YOU to support someone who is going after the same goal as you. Reaching that goal while helping someone else reach it too.. it will make the top so much sweeter. Let me know who you are supporting!
Next: Don’t judge others because they enjoy a different lifestyle as you. I deal with this almost daily. Everyone knows I like a good Kate Spade or a solid Nordstrom order. I don’t judge you on what you do, so why do you think it is okay to judge me because I enjoy a different lifestyle? Again, over the past year.. I have really became my own person. I don’t let others opinions about me bother me.. most of the time. You don’t like that I bought a new dress? Well good, because you won’t be the one wearing it. 🙂 My new outfit is your Friday night at the bar. We all have our things that make us, us. & that is wonderful.
My goal this year is about finding joy in life. Pushing pass my insecurities, my habits, feeling judged.. that brings me joy. Doing life how I want to do life on my own terms.. that brings me joy. You bring me joy. Every single one of you brings me joy.
Finally.. I found this quote from an article Nick Swisher wrote for the Players’ Tribune.. & thought it fit perfectly to conclude this post..
“This dream is over y’all. But another one is about to begin. The roller coaster is not stopping, it’s just switching tracks. And I’m gonna keep enjoying every second of the ride.” – Nick Swisher
This is my new dream.
Thanks for your support. See you back on Thursday!